incognito

Hi Everyone,

Well, I'm new here and really hoping that I can find some support. Sorry for the long post, I just really need to vent. I am going through a really tough time right now and I am becoming totally obsessed with my weight. I have always had on-and-off food issues. For a while I was ana, then I was mia, and then for years I let myself slip and gained a LOT of weight. There have been quite a few changes in my life the past 8 months, ended a relationship that was six and a half years long (I am only 22), moved out of our apartment and live alone for the first time, met a guy through friends, who I can honestly say I am madly in love with him with all my heart , and then had it broken by him last week (that is a whole other story that is consuming my life right now). A few months ago I started to loose weight, just eating a bit less, doing more drugs, and when people started noticing and telling me how good I looked I started to focus on it a bit more. Then the break-up happened a week and a half ago and I have suddenly become infatuated with my weight again. I try my hardest not to eat, only when I feel like I might pass out, and when I have eaten something that made me feel guilty I have purged. In the past few months I have gone from 165lbs to between 133 and 138lbs, depending on whether it is the morning or the evening. I weigh myself twice every day, but I don't count calories, I just REALLY try to not eat much. None of my friends know, the only other person is the guy that broke up with me last week...I feel so alone right now and whenever I notice I have lost a bid of weight it makes me feel a tiny bit better about life. This breakup is going to kill me, I am going crazy, crying, panic attacks, dry heaving over the toilet all night...am I alone in this? Please say that I'm not...

Current Location: home...alone
Current Mood: depressed